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Placenta Benefits.info - The Care and Keeping of Placentas [13 Feb 2009|05:10am]

Placenta Benefits.info - The Care and Keeping of Placentas

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parting is such sweet sorrow [24 May 2003|09:00am]
this is probably my last post here..

jim and i started our own website.

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these are the things i feel [21 May 2003|06:46pm]
[ mood | ehhh ]

depression occurs too much
can one go a whole day with out being depressed because of someones lack of __Blank__
are these the things i should be worrying about? should i be more sadened when i see someone like that?!
are these the people i need to love
is being depressed because of them loving them
is it valid to take it out on me because i point out the depression
is it valid to even call it taking it out on me.
all punctuation is necessary. except in the thought process.
my poetry is horrible.
this is not poetry
blue popsicles are cold
not blue.
ups and downs.
or attitude
its stubborness
but then its my fault..
everything is a process
learning, growing, realizing.
can one realize without the process.
180 degree turn in zero point five seconds
maybe process comes before the turn
maybe it doesnt need to
maybe the lump behind my ear is gone
my ear itches. i hope the piercing didnt cause the lump
maybe thats right, it was because of the phone
maybe not.
i hope i dont stop breathing one night
due to my not so massive lump
old women and tatooed wedding rings are the best combo for akwardness
along with ex boyfriend's moms.
i want my tatoos.
dont think i want the stars anymore.
too common.
something new

tired. nothing left to say. blue popsicles arent as good as pink ones.
we have to wear pink lab looking coats at work now.
nicole doesnt equal pink


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blah [12 May 2003|06:15pm]
[ mood | sad ]

what a horrible day..

i cried the whole way home. at first i didnt know why. but i guess i do know.

im just moody!!

i did something really stupid. the only reason i didnt stop myself from doing it is because im stupid... thats the only reason i could come up with.

and i know jim will be upset. not mad at me. but mad in general. his anger scares me sometimes. its never toward me. but toward other things. i shouldnt be saying this. but its what i feel. im afraid to tell him exactly how bad my day was.
it started off bad because i had to be in to work at 7am. but dr deevers and cindy were gone all last week (dr d only 2 1/2 days) so today was crazy just because everyone who needed to see the dr last week and couldnt... had to come in today. so it was just non stop crazyness and i hit my foot on the corner of the bottom of a desk so it was like hell for half the day. and here i am running around. when all i really want to do is sleep. then comes 4:#0 and im off. so i go to the post office. stupid. thats all i can say. i wish i was at the point where i could look back and laugh. but im not there yet. i just want to look back and cry. what a crappy situation. im not sure if i want to say on here what happened. becuase i want to tell jim in person. not have him read it on here. anyway so i leave the post office and im crying. the whole drive. about 25 mins. i get home. and the last thing i wanted to do was get the mail. so i get in the house. its still a bit messy. instead of hanging up my keys setting my phone on the stool and putting the popsicle in the freezer i put the phone in the freezer, the keys on the stool and tried to hang up the popsicle. i didnt notice that there wasnt a hook until after i turned away and heard something fall. i looked down to notice my keys on the stool. then saw the popsicle on the floor. and wondered where my phone was...

i wish jim were home.


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ahem. [07 May 2003|10:02pm]
[ mood | tired ]

..question of the day..

would you rather lie to yourself, or to someone you loved..


which is worse?

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im such a klutz.. [06 May 2003|12:08am]
[ mood | sore ]

ended up playing softball on sunday. after a super long fast throw from the outfield... the ball miss my glove and landed smack on the top of my foot.. with only flip flops on. i thought i'd be ok so i shook it off. i look down about 8 seconds later, and my foots as big as king kongs.. i then thought maybe its best i sit down. they ice me and elevate my foot. so much for going to apex that night. iced it all night long. the bag leaked while we were sleeping and i awoke at 3:47 am to a pool at the foot of my bed. we put down towels. went back to bed. had to get up at 6am for work. that was not fun. working. walking. with what i think is a broken bone. people kept telling me how easily it is to break that bone on the top of your foot. to top that off i have fragile bones anyway. too many of my bones have broke in my journey. it had been a while so i figured for sure it is broke. i couldnt move it or bend it up and down. which led me to believe something was out of place and pinching when i did try and move. but i made it through work. came home at 5pm. fell asleep around 6:30 after that 70s show rerun. and i didnt wake up until about 20 minutes ago. its 12:15... midnightish. now my foot seems to be better. just a big bruise. extremely sore ankle. i can move it a little bit. which makes me think maybe its not broke. maybe my bones strengthened in the past years. my work was supposed to try and take an xray of my foot. because technically its their fault that i dont have insurance yet. i was suposedly effective may 1st. there was way too much confusion about whether it was 30, 60, or 90 days that i was allowed insurance. so now they are denying me insurance. pj is working on it. but as of now i cant go get an xray done unless i want to pay $400. which no. i dont. so someone at my work was supposed to try and take an xray. and a few people were willing to do it. but we had to wait until all patients were gone.. and when it finally came down to it "i have to go.." "its time for me to leave i cant do it now" people dont care as much as they think they do.. or say they do. oh well.

maybe its not broke after all.

maybe im a wimp.

maybe i should go sleep more..?


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dude! [30 Apr 2003|10:19pm]
[ mood | bored ]

i gave dani her present.
it was like this boob looking pen holder. i jabbed a pen into it a few times so that once it dried... it could hold like 10 pens, but they'd stick out all over the place... so i painted it when i got off work today. i cant really explain what it looked like. i should have taken a picture. oh well. it was neat!

i also made jim a pen holder the other day.. but its a generic like cup type pen holder. but i etched in it a quote from jim "am i a creator or a theif?" its pretty classy. yay.

i told jim that we could go buy him a computer chair. i know he's wanted one for a while. so we went out.. it wasnt that expensive. but her deserved it. he works hard. and doesnt get paid for most of it. but thats why i love him. money isnt really an issue for him...except to get as much of it as he can so we can pay off what we owe, then live simply.

live simply. travel widely.
just came up with that.
i should register it and create tons of bumper stickers.

-on my way to kinkos...

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breee-the [30 Apr 2003|10:03pm]
the longing is complete
we gave you everything you wanted
no more than anything you needed
we stole lost treasures
lost luck in bad weather
but we did it all
weve seen it all
we'll know it all
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anew [29 Apr 2003|11:43pm]
i made dani a birthday present. its cool

i made it out of clay

crystal (my older sister) got her a purse, flip flops and tanning lotion....
so i thought id top her and give her something art.
hah no not top her.
but my present is better than hers hehehe

her birthday is tomorrow!!

i might be getting her a job at my work for the summer. so that should be cool. i miss having her around
i was craving sunny d tongiht.
so we got some. yum. and now its almost midnight.

alas i shall leave you with more! modest mouse lyrics.

...we're goin down the road towards tiny city made of ashes gonna hit you on your face gonna punch you in your glasses oh no i just got a message that said "yah hell is freezin over" i got a phone call from the lord sayin "hey boy get a sweater right now...

gooooood night!
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blah um uh bleeeh [28 Apr 2003|11:40pm]
thats the modest mouse bass beat in my head..

what a day today was.

its already 20 til midnight. so im going to try and drag jim to bed with me. he's always up late. which means i am always up late. except when i fall asleep on the couch and he wakes me up at 4am..

so off i go.

but first i shall leave you with a modest mouse quote. it may enlighten you.

..."well died sayin something but didnt mean it everyones life end but no one ever completes it. dry or wet ice the both melt and your equally cheated. well it took a lot of work to be the ass that i am, and im really damn sure that anyone can equally, easily fuck you over..."


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and so it goes.. [23 Apr 2003|07:05pm]
[ mood | dirty ]

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cherry somethin [22 Apr 2003|10:14pm]
[ mood | happy ]

we moved the computer because we got a new desk thingy from andy and tera. its nice. so now jim can put back together the other computer so we can both be on at the same time but doing our own thing. cause all the time i want to go on the computer he's doing some web site..

so it will be nice to have my own computer!

jim started a blog. its trendy like livejournal used to be. but live journal is special.. because you need a secret code to have one. that means all us LJers are special. hah.

allan is over here now. playing the gamecube. we got this crazy ass game called ikaruga its like old school fly shoot and dodge bullets. i think he's addicted. its been like 3 hours now or something. dang.

i love jim. he's so great. not a day goes by when i dont think "god im lucky" maybe not lucky.. i dont like that word but... some other word that means something like that.
he's my best friend..
he got some letter in the mail (he used to be in the air force a while back) and they were telling him to be prepared cause they might possibly deploy him or something lame like that. and i just sat there thinking and it was scary to imagine him not being there when i woke up you know. i dont know.. the other night i was thinking that i know its not right to love him more than god.. cause if it werent for god ... you get the picture.. but. i got to thinking and i think that maybe i need to love god more. its so cool. love can be the answer to anything!! im serious.
i dont know what im trying to say. i think that im just saying that i love god and jim
yah thats it...


ok time for some music... i got a polyvinyl comp. its pretty neato. its got rainer maria on it.. coooool.

ok.. goodnight!!

-for the cause

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i cant. [18 Apr 2003|05:09pm]
[ mood | cause its rainin out ]

i wish i would have never ate dairy. its hard to find other people who agree with me. man.

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i wish i would have never ate dairy. its hard to find other people who agree with me. man.
<p><font size="2" face="Courier New, Courier, mono"><a href="http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/Prefs.asp?video=mym2002="_blank">this</a> just hurts me.

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a week ago today... [14 Apr 2003|06:28pm]
my car was hit ... you could call it a hit and run. cause nobody left a note.. nothing.
the previous night i had just gotten back from long beach, ca around 1230, 100am
i went out to my car to go to work around 630am... SOOOO
that same morning the back entrance to our apartments (that always stays locked) was rammed into causing the metal bars to bend out... SOOOOO
between those 5 or so hours, someone hit my car... then proceeded to the back entrance... not realizing that those were METAL poles in front of them... and some how managed to get allll the way back to the entrance.. without anyone hearing or seeing anything.
not even our lovely gate people who think its their job to keep an eye on everything...and have gone so far as to put in a cheap ass gate at the entrance which you need a special key to get in...
NOBODY SAW A THING!!! AND NOW MY CAR SQUEAKS (ya it may be the brakes) BUT THEY WERENT SQUEAKING BEFORE!!! and insurance wont cover it.. cause they dont know who did it.

the only reason i care so much is no because its my car... but because i was hopeing on someday selling it... to help pay off debt...so jim and i dont need jobs... or transportation. just the feet on our bodies.

oh well.

we took some pics...

i also decided to throw in a pic that was up on a bilboard across from our apartments.

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[30 Mar 2003|05:15pm]
just had to post to show my new journal pic.

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hibediebedoooo [29 Mar 2003|08:49pm]
[ mood | cold ]

music is fun.
i got the new rainer maria cd.. well i dont know if its new.. or what. called long knives drawn. they kinda have a different sound. im not sure which is better yet. i think the old style.. i dont know though. shes so pretty. ive never seen what she looks like but her voice is just pretty. but anyway. MATES OF STATE! they are my new fav band. joel from thanks for the slow dance told me about them. its like a sister and brother piece and she plays keyboards and he's the drummer. and they have really neat harmonics.

so jim and i are slowly paying off our (his) debt. hopefully by the end of this year it will all be gone.. and he can just work a couple hours a week.. enough to pay rent, until we are ready to travel. where? anywhere.

next friday we're going to longbeach. im excited. i have to take off friday.. well i have to go until about 930ish cause theres an office meeting. it should be fun. we're going with some really cool people.

jim and i are going to go out tonight.. prolly see a movie. cause we havent seen one in like 3 months. (doesnt bug me a bit but jim is really into movies...so we're going)

byeby journal.


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we got fish... [01 Mar 2003|04:16pm]
[ mood | geeky ]

yep, jim and i got some fishies, a lady from work moved out of her house last weekend, and so she decided to give us her fish. two goldfish, but one of them is like 3 inches! its fat too. so i went out and got 2 more goldfish and a male betta fish. fish are so cool. how can people eat them. ugh. and i know they think and feel cause they get excited when i open the top to put in food, and my male betta only like warm water, when its not warm enough his fins turn redish from stress. but anywa i have some pics of them. yay..

i also threw in one of jim with his new hair cut.. you can barely see it but whatever! im afraid of how bit these pics will be i might have to make them smaller.. sorry if you see this and they are HUGE!

-for the cause

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[01 Mar 2003|11:09am]
I fixed all the picture links in some earlier entries.

So we're not eating dairy now. It's kinda hard at times. (This is jim, by the way) Not hard cause I want desperately to eat dairy but just hard to find stuff to eat. Though, we just got a vegetarian starter guide thing from PETA yesterday and there's a lot of cool stuff in there. I'm pretty excited about Tofutti's Brand "Better Than Cream Cheese". With a toasted bagel. Yah. Is anyone else addicted to cinammon toast like I am? I swear you can toast anything, dump cinammon and sugar all over it and it will be delightful. Maybe not anything.

Anyway check out the pictures if you tried before and they weren't there.

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DVD's for sale [23 Feb 2003|06:14pm]
Hey... So we're selling our DVD's and a few other things on Half.com. Get 'em while they're hot.

Here's the link

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so sick of it [22 Feb 2003|05:13pm]
"it's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything" tyler durden

i wish i could loose it all not friends, not things that matter, just things that are unimportant and unnecessary
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