nik (xnik24) wrote,

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what a horrible day..

i cried the whole way home. at first i didnt know why. but i guess i do know.

im just moody!!

i did something really stupid. the only reason i didnt stop myself from doing it is because im stupid... thats the only reason i could come up with.

and i know jim will be upset. not mad at me. but mad in general. his anger scares me sometimes. its never toward me. but toward other things. i shouldnt be saying this. but its what i feel. im afraid to tell him exactly how bad my day was.
it started off bad because i had to be in to work at 7am. but dr deevers and cindy were gone all last week (dr d only 2 1/2 days) so today was crazy just because everyone who needed to see the dr last week and couldnt... had to come in today. so it was just non stop crazyness and i hit my foot on the corner of the bottom of a desk so it was like hell for half the day. and here i am running around. when all i really want to do is sleep. then comes 4:#0 and im off. so i go to the post office. stupid. thats all i can say. i wish i was at the point where i could look back and laugh. but im not there yet. i just want to look back and cry. what a crappy situation. im not sure if i want to say on here what happened. becuase i want to tell jim in person. not have him read it on here. anyway so i leave the post office and im crying. the whole drive. about 25 mins. i get home. and the last thing i wanted to do was get the mail. so i get in the house. its still a bit messy. instead of hanging up my keys setting my phone on the stool and putting the popsicle in the freezer i put the phone in the freezer, the keys on the stool and tried to hang up the popsicle. i didnt notice that there wasnt a hook until after i turned away and heard something fall. i looked down to notice my keys on the stool. then saw the popsicle on the floor. and wondered where my phone was...

i wish jim were home.

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